It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that a hot, dry, arid climate creates a tinderbox condition just waiting for a spark.  And, as dry as our forests and valleys get, it doesn’t take much to create that spark.  Even in the years where we have had ample rain and snow, Arizona has been in a drought for the past 10 years and is estimated to continue for another 10 years. Every year our Forest Service classifies fire hazard areas, closes parks and camping areas, and watches for lightning storm activity that may ignite a fire.

I was talking to a friend about the wildfires when she said; “it will be difficult to go camping for the 4^th of July this year…maybe we’ll barbeque and watch the fireworks.”  At the mention of fireworks, my mind whiplashed back to the insanity of our State Legislature passing a law making the sale of fireworks legal.  Something, to this day, I cannot fathom.  To make this bill even more senseless, some individual cities and counties have banned the use of all fireworks…so you can buy them, but it’s illegal to set them off.  Right!  That’s like buying a kid an ice cream cone and telling him he can’t eat it.

Mother Nature uses fires as a way to spring clean and renew the earth.  She doesn’t need any help from pyrotechnics, campers, hikers, bikers, or anyone else who may carelessly throw a cigarette or match from a car.  I love the differences in Arizona’s landscapes, so lets all do everything we can to remember Smokey The Bear’s words of wisdom; “ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES”.

Tragically, away from my office, I too often see or more precisely hear, teens displaying a complete lack of civility, not just to strangers, but to their own parents.  I was shopping last week when a young girl, around 12 or 13 years old, became so angry with her mother, she started shouting, calling her profane names, and having a complete tantrum.  The embarrassed mother then apologized to her daughter and told her, if she calmed down, they’d go and get whatever it was that caused the scene to begin with.  I was astounded by the whole drama, especially the ending.  I couldn’t believe this mother would, first apologize because she upset her daughter and then reward her for the bad behavior.  Sadly, this isn’t an isolated incident.

While talking with a group of women, I mentioned this episode.  They weren’t surprised, and then regaled me with similar stories.  In some, the parent was the one yelling and screaming.  I have two names to describe these inappropriate scenarios.  One is, “Reality Show Behavior” because I firmly believe these television shows model screaming, shouting, name calling, and fighting as acceptable conduct that is negatively influencing our society.  The other is, “My Child is My Friend Syndrome” in which the parent doesn’t want the child to get mad at them.  This idea that your child is your friend is absurd.  While relationships with parents change over the years, parents should be just that…Parents!…not buddies, not pals and not friends.

While there are a lot of outside influences modeling behavior, children learn at home first, so if your child believes swearing and bad behavior is normal, then you might want to look at your parenting style.  I, for one, would appreciate it because, for me, this type of public behavior is not acceptable.

I’ve counseled too many people whose lives have been damaged by trying to conceal their sexual orientation.  No person should ever have to hide who they are.  I’ve had clients whose families have disowned them, churches have excommunicated them and friends have rejected them because they had the nerve to “come out”.  Ironically, those same family members, church congregations and friends say they always knew the person was gay, but it was okay, as long as they weren’t open about it.  So when they find a partner, to share their lives with, not being able to have the same rights to marry, as a heterosexual couple because certain religious organizations are against it, is a travesty of justice.

I cannot begin to tell anyone what God says nor am I a Biblical scholar.  But having read both the Old and New Testament, I look upon the words in Genesis 1:27 “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them”.  So since homosexuality has been around since the dawn of man, wouldn’t that mean that homosexuals are also made in the image of God?

Hopefully, in the near future, sexual orientation and same sex marriage won’t be a point of contention.  After all, it wasn’t all that long ago that interracial marriage was illegal.  And while I appreciate the President and Vice President’s endorsement, same sex marriage should not be a political issue.

If I’d been a cat, I would have gone through my nine lives before the age of 3.  I was curious about everything.  From childhood I was curious about places, people and things.  I constantly asked questions…and my parents, bless them, took the time to answer me.  And if they didn’t have the answer, we got out the trusty encyclopedia.  That curiosity has continued throughout my life.  I’m still curious about places, people and things.  I want to find out the origins of words, religions, different cultures; I find it fascinating to learn how things work.  I love to discover things like… Who made the first piano?… What would cause someone to mix wheat and water together to make bread?… Or, why do they use RX for prescription medicines?  Finding the answers intrigues me and inspires me to learn more.  (The Answers: Originally called the pianoforte, it was invented by Bartolomeo Cristofor in 1700.  Mixing wheat water and heat has been traced back over 8000 years, and RX is an abbreviation of the Latin word for recipe.)

At a friends party, their 6-year-old son was in the room while a group of adults were discussing contraception.  During the conversation the word “impotent” was used and the boy asked his dad what it meant.  You would have thought the boy asked to see a diagram of position 22 of the Kama Sutra.  His father, not handling the situation well, got upset saying, “Children should be seen and not heard”.  I was appalled.  All this young boy did was ask a question.  He was curious about a word he hadn’t heard before.  As the tears welled up in the boy’s eyes, I looked at him and told him “someone who is impotent can’t have children.  While it’s not the exact definition, it was enough to make this boy say, “oh, ok” and then go off somewhere else.  This is not an uncommon happening.  Most parents have a difficult time answering question of a sexual nature, but not answering isn’t the correct reaction.  Children are curious, but they also don’t want long answers.  So when it comes to questions like that, keep it simple…don’t get out Grey’s Anatomy and get into long answers.

I hope I never lose my curiosity.  It’s an important part of me.  It’s my curiosity that makes me question politicians, religions and clients.  It’s what makes me look into the truth of the many e-mails I get stating falsehoods as if they are fact. And, I believe it’s what prevents me from becoming apathetic and indifferent.

So the next time your child has a question or wants to explore or see how something works, be thankful.  After all, if it weren’t for those curious people who have gone before, we’d still be in the dark.

After receiving another e-mail about the ACLU law suits to have all the crosses removed from Military graves, disallow the Military to pray, or not allowing a Navy Chaplin to use the name of Jesus in prayer, I was appalled.  How could the ACLU do such a thing?  So, I passed it along without any thought to the validity of the accusations.  I was wrong to do that.  Passing along erroneous information only fuels the fire of anger that is overabundant in our country.

In order to repent, I thought I would provide the truth to this viral e-mail that has been circling the glob.  Sadly this e-mail is an insult to the good work that the ACLU has done since they were established in 1920.  So here is the truth about the accusations made in the e-mail.

The ACLU does not have a lawsuit to remove crosses from military graves.  The ACLU supports the freedom for veterans and their families to choose religious symbols on military headstones.  They have fought to make sure the government cannot restrict any religious expression in federal cemeteries.

The ACLU does not have a lawsuit regarding prayers in the military.  According to the ACLU, the First Amendment to the Constitution protects prayer.  Members of the military have a right to pray or not pray…it is one of their fundamental rights they put their lives on the line to defend in service to the country.

Neither the ACLU nor the Obama administration has enacted any prohibition against Navy chaplains mentioning Jesus’ name in prayer.  This allegation may be linked to an incident in which a Navy chaplain felt his superiors were censoring him.  The chaplain ignored the Navy rule stating that prayers being delivered in settings other than religious ceremonies be non-denominational.

The only stand the ACLU has taken regarding prayer in the military is regarding compulsory prayer.  The ACLU feels that each individual has the right to pray or not.

Ironically the ACLU and the ADL are both organizations that work toward fair treatment and justice for all Americans regardless of race, religion, sex or sexual orientation.

I don’t know why the ACLU, the ADL and the President have become this battlefield of religious antagonism.  Is it because ACLU and the ADL fight for the rights of non-Christians? Is it because a majority of Americans still think President Obama is a Muslim?  Whatever the reason, we as Americans need to stop. We need to stop tearing our country apart.  We need to stop the anger, stop the lies, stop the hatred, stop the negativity and stop the bitching about everything you don’t like.  We, collectively and individually, are the only ones who can make that difference.  You want to restore America…then quit sniveling and do something positive.

So, the next time you receive an e-mail that’s has a prayer, cute animal pictures, funny jokes, interesting you-tube videos or sentimental photographs, send them to me.  Anything else, make sure the information is valid…because, if you don’t I will.  And if you’re brave enough…e-mail this to your friends.

duffyonyourmind.com

In July of last year, a group of physicians went to Capitol Hill to demand some relief from this rapidly increasing epidemic. Their solution is to require health care professionals, who prescribe drugs, be trained in prescription drug abuse and register with the Drug Enforcement Administration prior to prescribing highly addictive opioid-based painkillers. While this is commendable, I feel it only tackles tone aspect of prescribing medication.

From experience, I can tell you that many doctors are not only ignorant of the use and side affects of the drugs they prescribe, but are also oblivious to other medications their patients are taking and the interactions of those medicines.

As a practice, I would get a list of medications during my initial client intake. It became obvious that many of their complaints regarding, sleep, anxiety, fatigue, weight gain and other symptoms were due, in part, to the medications they were taking. I would find that clients would have medications prescribed by different specialists that were redundant or even more problematic, that some of the medicines prescribed were contraindicative to another prescription that not only could cause psychotic episodes, but also could be fatal. Tragically, specialists don’t seem to be aware of anything other than their own specialty.

I personally believe that drugs are passed out like candy in the medical profession. Have a cold, take a Z-Pak…have some pain, take Percocet…feel down, take Zoloft …have ADD, take Ritalin…can’t keep it up, take Viagra. There’s a pill for everything. But is it really necessary to give out all of these medications? I don’t have an answer. I do, however, think it might be better if physicians would try to find the underlying cause of a condition prior to giving out pills. I had a neighbor who, for years, had ongoing symptoms of fatigue, coughing and low-grade fever. For years she went to the doctors and was put on different medications. A year ago they sold their house and when the new owners started to renovate it, found the house was completely infested with mold. Our neighbor, by the way, has never felt better.

So, while I applaud the doctors working toward drug abuse education for their colleagues. I would like them to extend the education further. I believe physicians should take ongoing pharmaceutical classes, rather than relying on the medication brochure for their education.

There is one bill in Congress, H.R. 1925 – The Prescription Drug Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act of 2011. It went to the House in May 2011…it’s still there. Maybe, if our state and federal legislatures were to take on this problem, I wouldn’t feel like the drug lobbyists owned them.

I tell you this story because I attended an amazing luncheon to raise money for a non-profit organization called, Face In The Mirror, whose mission is to pamper and provide cancer patients with hope and self-esteem. Like my desire to comfort Marcia, Barbara MacLean, founder of Face In The Mirror, was visiting her sister, Charlotte, who was suffering from beast cancer. Barbara wanted to make her sister feel better, so she gave her a facial makeover. Charlotte looked at herself in the mirror and said, “Barbara, promise me you will do this for others.” Charlotte then said, “You have to, because no one cares what you look like when you’re sick”. Charlotte lost her battle with breast cancer. That was 10 years ago. And Barbara kept her promise.

Face in The Mirror Foundation became a 501-C-3 organization in 2004 and began providing women with cancer facials, hand/foot massages, make-up, lotions and emotional help. Hospitals began opening their arms to the idea of a “new type of healing” and they continue to add new hospitals and affiliates. Today Face In The Mirror is not just working with women with cancer. They’ve included children and teens providing gifts, clothes, and toys for kids in the burn and trauma units, those with cancer and other childhood diseases. In 2009 they began an outreach program called FIM4MEN, offering shaves, moisturizing facials, hand/foot massages and encouragement. Check out their website at www.faceinthemirror.org.

I don’t usually ask people to support any organization. How do you choose when there are so many. But, if you are one of the people, like me, who want to provide something tangible rather than just giving money for research, think about supporting Barbara. As I tell my clients, the best way for you to feel better is to help someone else feel good.

This is Duffy On Your Mind

Representative Terry England, of Georgia, wants to pass a bill, which would force women to carry a stillborn fetus to full term. After all, according to Representative England, he had experience delivering calves and pigs, both dead and alive, and it wasn’t detrimental to those animals, and women “aren’t any different than cows or pigs”. He then followed this absurd logic with a story of a man who was opposed to a bill outlawing chicken fighting, who would give up his chickens if the legislature would take away women’s right to an abortion. Imagine, a man willing to giving up his illegal cock fighting to eradicate a woman’s legal right to an abortion. Such altruism is hard to fathom.

Virginia lawmakers, such as State Senator Ryan McDougle, feel obligated to assist women in making health decisions. Therefore, to make it more difficult for women to get federally legal and medically safe abortions, they are supporting a bill to make transvaginal ultrasound mandatory for any woman to get an abortion. Don’t you just love how concerned these men are with women’s health?

New Hampshire has passed a bill sponsored by Tea Party Rep. Jeanine Notter, requiring doctors to tell pregnant women that abortion causes breast cancer. The fact the World Health Organization, the National Cancer Institute, the American Cancer Society and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists all agree there is no link between abortion and breast cancer isn’t important. Apparently, Rep. Notter is more knowledgeable about breast cancer than these institutions.

A Washington State Federal judge ruled that the state of Washington cannot require pharmacists to dispense Plan B contraceptives, (otherwise know as the morning after pill), if it goes against their religious beliefs. The Judge stated that it would interfere with the pharmacists’ right to “conscientious objection”. I wonder if these pharmacists have the same moral objection about dispensing Viagra? Probably not, men don’t get pregnant!

When did the rights of women become irrelevant? Is it because the Declaration of Independence says, “all men are created equal” that, suddenly in 2012, women should be relegated to second-class status. That seems to be the direction that these state mandates are leading. The sad part is that women have sponsored some of these egregious bills. I wonder if they have any idea how long and hard women fought for equality. If it weren’t for brave women like, Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Mary Church Terrell, Margaret Sanger, Mary McLeod Bethune, Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem, some of whom were beaten, persecuted and imprisoned so that women could vote, take birth control, have equal rights and hold political offices, there wouldn’t be women legislators. Maybe our female legislators should remember it was only 1920 when women got the right to vote before they support legislation to usurp women’s rights.

With all of the trouble America is having with the economy, housing, employment, government spending, taxes, health care, etc., why is it the Presidential Candidates and State Legislatures are concerned about women’s contraception and abortion issues. How about if they focus on getting the United States financially stable and stay out of women’s Individual rights…and bodies.

The fact that anyone, much less a woman, would sponsor a bill that would, fundamentally, usurp women’s individual freedom, rights and privacy is unthinkable. The fact that they use “religious liberties”, as the rationale for this mockery of justice, is morally wrong! I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m grateful that western civilization has evolved from the Dark Ages, when women were considered chattel, second-class citizens and had no rights, and am ashamed that in 2012 insurance coverage for birth control is even an issue.

I don’t know Majority Whip Debbie Lesco and I don’t care what her moral or religious beliefs are. It shouldn’t have anything to do with running our State. What I do know is that it might be beneficial if she actually read the constitution. The first Amendment states:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

If anything, this amendment states that no law regarding religion or religious beliefs should be established. What the First Amendment does, is allow American citizens to exercise the freedom to attend the religious denomination of their choice. What it doesn’t do, is offer fundamental religious zealots the use of government legislation to force other Americans to conform to personal religious and moral codes.

In case Majority Whip Lesco needs to be to reminded, the Preamble of our Declaration of Independence states that Americans are: “endowed with the unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”. Allowing any business the authority to fire and even ask an employee about their use of contraceptives is an infringement of these unalienable rights and our right to privacy. Ms. Lesco, for your edification, our right to privacy is implied in the First, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth, and Fourteenth Amendments

Ms. Lesco stated: “We don’t live in the Soviet Union” as an example of government intrusion. History is obviously not one of her strong suits. The Soviet Union, collapsed in 1991, when Reagan was President, becoming15 independent countries. Actually, I would think Ms. Lesco would identify with the former Soviet Union; since her bill tell people how to live their lives?

The fact that this bill states a business can fire a woman for using birth control for preventing pregnancy is outrageous. Is Ms. Lesco going to add an addendum that says men can only use Viagra for procreation? If so, she’s going to lose a lot of Sun City votes.

I’m waiting for the day when Arizona Law Makers will actually resume the duties of running the State rather than instituting laws on gay marriage, divorce, contraceptives or anything else that infringes on our individual sex lives. I know! How about if they start by getting our state out of debt.

Why shouldn’t church owned businesses be required to follow the same rules as every other business? In fact, why are religious institutions exempt from paying taxes? I’ve read the Constitution and realize that the first amendment states: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” as the foundation for tax emption. I’ve re-read that sentence many times, and granted I’m not a constitutional scholar; I don’t see anything about tax emption. And, I doubt that any of our forefathers had the foresight to see the evolution of church owned businesses.

The amount of property and other resources owned by churches is staggering. The Catholic Church, alone, owns a multitude of hospitals, medical centers, businesses and properties around the world. Other denominations own media and broadcast entities, educational institutions, businesses and land. If a church owns a business, should that company be exempt from providing the same insurance benefits as any other firm? I don’t think so.

In my opinion, exempting church owned businesses from providing their employees the same benefits, as secular businesses should be considered unconstitutional. The question becomes; “should churches be able to impose their religious doctrines and policies on these employees?” Again, my answer is No! There is a difference between a business and a church. Since these businesses hire employees that have different faiths and beliefs, haven’t they already established a separation between the two? So, for churches to tell the government that they shouldn’t be held to the same laws, maybe they should just go back to the profession of ministering to their communities and get out of owning and operating major businesses. I doubt that will happen. They make way too much money to allow that.

Religions, in general, have blamed Eve’s tempting Adam with the apple, as the impetus to justify their disregard for women’s rights. This dispute, on a relatively innocuous topic like insurance coverage for birth control pills, while it covers the cost of Viagra, so men can maintain an erection up to 4 hours, only validates how religions still consider women to be second-class citizens.
No matter how religions view women and women’s rights, it shouldn’t be a part of a church owned business code of ethics.

If church doctrine is the business code of ethics, will women who use birth control pill lose their jobs? After all, they don’t condone the use of contraceptives. And, what gives predominantly male dominated churches the right to determine what is best for any woman? For me, until the Pope or any other man is able to have a baby, they aren’t qualified to make those decisions.

This is Duffy On Your Mind