Church & Contraception

by on February 21, 2012 • No comments

I tend to get fed up with religious institutions usurping my “God” given right to take care of my own body. The fact that more than 2,500 evangelical and ministry leaders of various denominations are “up in arms” and voicing opposition to the administration’s new mandate to require contraceptive coverage in all health insurance plans, only reinforces my fear that our country is slowly being held hostage by religious fanatics. I would bet that the majority of these religious leaders are men.

I honestly cannot understand why contraceptive coverage would be such an issue. It doesn’t have anything to do with religion. It has to do with what a woman feels would be best for her. It’s her individual choice whether she participates. It really is as simple as that. Even though female contraceptives weren’t around when the Old or New Testament was written, for some reason, fundamentalists, of every denomination, start quoting Bible passages stating that “birth control” is a sin against God.

Ironically, the only statement regarding contraception in the Bible relates to Onan, for spilling his seed on the ground rather than having a child with his brother’s widow, Tamar, in accordance with the law of Levirate marriage. So, if we’re to strictly follow the teachings of the Bible, we should execute every man who has ever jacked off and women would be subjected to having to marry their brothers-in-law or other male relatives if their husbands die. After all…that’s what it says in the Bible. Luckily, our society has progressed since then.

For the Catholic Church, contraception isn’t based directly on passages of the Bible. Their argument is supposedly based on what they “interpret” is the purpose for sex. Catholic interpretation is, sex is only for procreation and any contraception that interferes with child bearing…is wrong. While I can’t speak for anyone else, I don’t feel obliged to have my personal life defined by the Church’s interpretation. The Bible says that children are a gift from God. I agree and because they are a gift from God, having a child you don’t want, to me, is a sin. Just look around today and you can see the results of having unwanted children.

In a letter to the President, the religious leaders in opposition to the contraception mandate state that it isn’t necessary nor warranted under the provision of “preventive care services for women” contained in the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and that it essentially ignores the conscience rights of many Catholic and Protestant Americans. Not only that, but it infringes on their religious freedom. I’m not sure how, since no one is being forced to use them. But, if you do want birth control pills, that’s okay as long as you can afford them.

My problem is, the hypocrisy of these religious leaders. These are the same leaders whose religious organizations own and operate numerous medical centers and hospitals around the world that perform a variety of contraceptive procedures…vasectomy’s, tubal ligations and hysterectomy’s. So, why is providing contraception for women such an aberration? I wonder if they would be as upset if they weren’t asked to pay for the insurance coverage?

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Happy Valentine’s Day

by on February 14, 2012 • No comments

“How do I love thee, let me count the ways”, “Love is a many splendored thing”, “Love is all you need”, “Love makes the world go ‘round”. Songs, poems, and letters of love are what we’ve been told are the origins of Valentines Day. But, like many holidays or Saint’s days, observances can be traced back to pagan festivals.

Today we commemorate Valentines Day with jewelry, candy, flowers and romantic dinners. A lovely, if expected, way to let your beloved know how much you care. Now, imagine living in ancient Rome. While there wasn’t a Valentines Day in mid-February, you would still be partying to commemorate the Roman Festival of Lupercalia (Wolf Festival) by sacrificing goats and dogs, after which half naked men would run through the streets whipping young women with the bloodied goat skins. Sounds like one of Charlie Sheens parties. The Lupercalia festival was essentially a purification and fertility rite. I don’t know about anyone else, but being pelted with bloody goatskins just doesn’t sound romantic.
In 496 A.D. it was out with the pagan and in with the Christian. Pope Gelasius banned the festival and declared February 14th as St. Valentines Day. The conundrum is that there were three men named Valentine who were martyred in the 200’s. One was a priest who helped persecuted Christians; the second was a pious bishop who offended the Romans and the third was a priest who secretly married couples ignoring the Roman ban on soldiers marrying. All three were tortured and put to death by Claudius II. All three have been credited with falling in love with a jailer’s daughter and writing her a love letter signed, “From Your Valentine”.
It wasn’t until 1382 that the poet Chaucer, suggested that St. Valentine’s Day be considered a day of romance since it was the time in which birds chose their mates. Valentine’s Day greetings date back to the middle ages. It wasn’t until the middle of the 18th century that friends and lovers began to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the 19th century men’s fates were sealed and commercialism took hold.
Since I still love the idea of a handwritten note, to everyone who receives this, I wish to give you this Valentine quote by Robert Browning:
“Take away love and Earth is a tomb.”
And with all the talk about love…I hope the one person you love the most is you.

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Sex Education

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I’ve often said, “To have a child, you should be required to take child development classes and get a license”. Maybe then we wouldn’t have a mother leaving a newborn baby on the front lawn of a home. That’s what happened to Baby Kathryn just a few days ago. According to police, Baby Kathryn, named for the street it was left on, was only a few hours old. It’s mindboggling to understand how anyone could do such a thing, but it happens all the time. Babies have been discarded in dumpsters, public bathrooms, stores and restaurants. While I can understand not being able to care for a child, leaving a newborn baby anywhere but a safe location is unthinkable.

Historically, it’s teenage girls who most often discard a newborn baby. It’s too easy to put all the blame on the girl. After all, “if she’s mature enough to have sex, she’s adult enough to be responsible”. Get real? Teens and responsibility are oxymorons. While I believe we need to teach our youth responsibility, when it comes to teen pregnancy, all of society should be accountable. After all, isn’t it our job to teach our children…not just teaching them the 3R’s…but, how about the 3R’s+S. Let’s add sex education to the equation.

Sadly, in America, for the most part we still don’t teach sex education in our school systems and it’s disheartening to see how ill informed some of our young people are when it comes to sex. I’ve spoken with young girls who thought they could get pregnant by kissing. I’ve had discussions with other teens that didn’t believe fellatio was a sexual act…just a way to say hello. Some of their belief’s are right out of “Ripley’s Believe It or Not”. Growing up in the 50’s or 60’s, most of your sex education came from magazines and friends. The “Birds & Bees Talk”…come on! The last thing any kid wants to hear about, from their parents, is sex. Sex was more like on the job training. Let’s face it, at that time, married couples on TV had to sleep in twin beds with one foot on the floor. How’s that for “Reality TV”. Although today’s teens can watch more sex on television, movies and the Internet than ever in our history, their knowledge is just as limited.

So why not teach sex education in our schools and help prepare our youth for adulthood? Two words…Religious Right! The majority of Fundamentalist Christians believe sex should be taught at home…only it isn’t. One father I met got his 16-year-old son a hooker to teach him about sex. Happy Birthday! I asked him what he was going to do for his daughter. That was different. His daughter didn’t need to know about sex. Yeah right! Double standards are alive and well in the United States.

Anti sex-education proponents still spew their sanctimonious and erroneous information. Their antiquated idea, that teaching sex promotes promiscuity, is as outdated as vinyl records. Tragically, no matter what studies or statistics to the contrary you provide, their antediluvian mind-set won’t allow them to listen. Do they really believe if you just ignore the subject, it will go away? Talk about “don’t ask…don’t tell”.

The problem is, kids are still getting pregnant, feeling hopeless, helpless and alone. Even with organizations like Planned Parenthood and a myriad of helpful websites, if young pregnant girls don’t know about them they can’t get help. Maybe, if we actually taught sex education in schools, we wouldn’t have to worry about a newborn baby being left on someone’s lawn. We can discuss licensing to have a child later.

Gay Marriage

by on February 8, 2012 • No comments

I have to be truthful here. Why does anyone care who marries who? Unless it affects you personally, and I don’t mean whatever bigoted or religious bias you possess, what difference does it make?

It would be a welcome relief if these religious zealots, who refer to marriage as a sacred union between a man and a woman, under God, actually knew anything about the history of marriage. Historically, God had nothing to do with marriage. Depending on how far back in history you want to delve, the primary purpose of a marriage was to bind a woman to a man guaranteeing the man’s children were truly his biological heirs. After all, you wouldn’t want just any bastard showing up and saying; “Hi dad, where’s my inheritance?” In most societies, from Hebrews to Romans to Greeks, married men were free to enjoy concubines, prostitutes and male lovers while their wives were required to stay home and tend to the household, which I consider extremely sexist. Mel Brooks once said, “With all the running and cavorting men used to do, it’s no wonder to be considered Jewish, your mother has to be Jewish…you always know who your mother is…your dad…ehhh?”

It wasn’t until the Council of Trent in 1563 that the Sacramental nature of marriage was written into Canon Law. The husband’s authority was established under a legal doctrine called “coverture” in which the bride relinquished her identity by giving up her name. Some things haven’t changed. But even then, marriage was a contract. Women were property. The bride’s father or guardian chose the groom and provided the dowry. Okay…I’ll give you two cows, three sheep, six chickens, and two hectares and you take the girl. Talk about feeling like a piece of meat…where’s the love…the romance.

History isn’t just relegated to heterosexuals. Recorded history of Gays, Lesbians and Transgender persons, with references to gender-to-gender marriage, dates back to the Code of Hammurabi, around 1700 BC. There are historical records of Gay marriages being performed during the Roman Empire. While religious fundamentalists might not want to acknowledge it, Gay marriage has even been a part of Christian history. Although rare, Some Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches performed a ceremony called “Order for Solemnization of Same Sex Union”. The cleric asked God to grant the participants “grace to love one another, abide unhated and not cause scandal all the days of their lives with the help of the Holy Mother of God and all thy saints”. Doesn’t sound like God had a problem there.

It wasn’t until the 1800’s and Queen Victoria that the idea of a loving marriage was considered and even then clerics felt that love between spouses was unimportant. Today, we take it for granted that we should love the person we are to marry. Marriage is a commitment of two people who want to be together. Who says it has to be a male and a female? As a psychotherapist, I can tell you I’ve seen as many, long term, loving relationships between homosexuals as I have heterosexuals. So what’s the problem? Why is it so important to not let homosexuals marry? And what makes it anyone’s business?

And, for those of you who believe that homosexual love is wrong in God’s eyes…in my God’s eyes, loving someone can never be wrong.

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Prisoner’s Lawsuit

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One of my pet peeves is frivolous lawsuits. Now, I realize what I consider frivolous may differ from someone else. But, if you don’t agree with me on this…you’re wrong.

In Arizona, three death row inmates are suing the Governor, the state corrections director and the executioners; citing new execution protocols are violating their constitutional rights. Personally, I find it hard to believe that any lawyer would actually take this to court, but then again…it’s a lawyer.

According to the lawsuit, Arizona’s new execution protocol gives the Department of Corrections Director too much discretion in the decision of type and amount of drugs to be dispensed and the training of persons administering the drugs. According to attorney, Dale Baich, the physician who had performed the executions is no longer available and there were some questions regarding other execution team members. Mr. Baich wants to be sure the Department of Corrections has conducted proper background checks and verified the medical licenses of the team. Is that a reason to file a lawsuit? What difference does it make? It’s not as if it’s going to change the end result. No matter how you look at it, a lethal injection is going to be lethal. While you need a medical doctor on site to determine death, you don’t need a medical degree to administer an intravenous needle. Just ask a heroin addict.

Mr. Baich claims that Arizona didn’t follow protocol on previous executions, citing the type of drug used could cause pain when administered. That’s like asking for a nylon rope for a hanging because hemp is scratchy.

The lawsuit claims that the new protocols violate the prisoner’s Constitutional rights. According to Cornell University Law School, “Federal and State laws govern the establishment and administration of prisons as well as the rights of the inmates”. Prisoners do not have full Constitutional rights. They are protected by the Constitution’s prohibition of cruel and unusual punishment, due process to administrative appeals, right of access to the parole process, freedom from discrimination along with free speech and religious choice. I couldn’t find anything about death row prisoners being able to select the type of drug used or execution team.
These prisoners committed heinous acts and are now being punished for their crimes. I’ve never been a proponent of capital punishment, not only because our legal system has convicted so many innocent people, but also because the length of time a prisoner spends on death row nullifies any deterrent to committing such a crime.
There are hundreds of prisoners in the United States who’ve been on death row for over 25 years. With all that time, I guess we should be happy there aren’t more frivolous lawsuits.

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The Bible and Public Schools

by on February 2, 2012 • No comments

Why is it that Arizona State Legislators have such difficulty understanding the constitutional dictum regarding the separation of Church and State? After all, if our founding fathers understood this division was essential to protect minorities, both sectarian and secular, and maintain political liberty, you would think that today’s politicians would be equally astute.
Obviously, astuteness isn’t the case with Republican State Representative Terri Proud. Rep. Proud wants Arizona lawmakers to create a high school course for public and charter schools students that teach the Bible and its role in Western culture. Proud’s House Bill 2473 would allow high schools to offer an elective course on the “critical evaluation and examination of the Bible as a literary work”. A second House Bill 2563 would require the State Board of Education to determine requirements for a high school course titled “The Bible and its Influence on Western Culture”, which would include lessons on history, literature and the influence of the Old and New testaments on laws, government and culture.
Don’t you just love the names of the classes? Makes it sound like it’s not a Bible Study. Supposedly the course is intended to maintain religious neutrality, so students are not required to use a specific version of the Bible. I wonder how that will work. Let’s see, there’s the Hebrew Bible, the Catholic Bible, the Protestant or King James Bible, The Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Bible or The New World Translation and the Mormon Bible – not to be confused with The Book of Mormon. I know, how about using Thomas Jefferson’s translation of the Bible. At least the Jefferson Bible would actually have a connection to the class course. With all those choices, it’s going to be one difficult class to teach.
Representative Proud and her supporters feel that somehow students are being deprived of learning about the Bible. I was under the impression, they taught about the Bible in Sunday Schools, Catechism and the various parochial schools? So, it’s not as if the Bible isn’t taught in schools…just not public schools.
It’s a tragedy Arizona ranks 42nd in the nation for our public education. Arizona’s education budget has been cut so much that we’ve had to cut back on teachers, arts and music classes, daily physical education and programs such as First Things First and KidsCare. Grade school students can’t even play at recess because they don’t have enough teachers to supervise their play. So, in my opinion, spending money to establish a Bible class is not a wise use of our education funds.
I do believe, however, that our education system needs a dramatic change…but a change that provides the necessary knowledge to help student’s function in our society when they graduate. It’s appalling that a large majority of our high school graduates aren’t physically fit, mentally stimulated or financially literate. Wouldn’t it be wiser to provide classes that will help our children succeed in life?
I’m aware that other states have passed laws to establish Bible education in public schools. But I believe our forefathers were correct about separating church and state. So to be fair, if we establish a Bible Class, then we should also provide classes to study the Koran, the Tanakh, the Torah, the Sruti, the Tipitaka, Dianetics and if Representative Proud really wants to teach about western culture, how about a class on Native American Spirituality. I took a class like that. It was called the History of Religions and it was a College elective.

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Text Talk

by on February 1, 2012 • No comments

I have a confession to make. I’m an Internet jargon illiterate. I hate to admit it, but when I get text messages or e-mails with words like AAMOF (as a matter of fact), CMIIW (correct me if I’m wrong), BFN (bye for now), G2G (good to go) or any of the infinite number of other Internet acronyms, I break out into a sweat. I used to think it was a spelling error. But after minutes of checking the dictionary…the one used for words…I finally had to give up, hang my head in shame and call the person to ask what they wrote. I know there has to be a support group somewhere to help me.

I’m not the only person who has to suffer this humiliation. After doing some research on the Internet to see if there is an IJ (Internet jargon) dictionary, I’ve found I’m not alone. While it’s mainly people over 40 that suffer from IJI (Internet jargon illiteracy), I’m astounded that no one has ever considered making this a cause. Maybe we could get Diane Keaton to become our spokesperson…she’s over forty. We could produce commercials that depict the despair of having IJI. Or possibly, do a telethon to promote the suffering of people with IJI.

OK, I’m being facetious, but there is a problem with parents not being aware of what their kids are texting and e-mailing and that’s not funny. A number of Internet sites now have acronym lists to help parents decipher what their kids are writing. But, it’s not only the kids who have become acronym doyens. Young parents are equally guilty of acronym-speak. I say speak because word condensations are becoming a part of our daily verbal communication.

Perhaps, it’s because I’m a writer and writers have a tendency to use actual words, you know, words (those verbal utterances made when you combine letters together to form a definition of something) that I’m not fond of acronyms. There is absolutely nothing wrong with shortening a phrase; but it would help dramatically if everyone else with whom you communicate knew the translation.

I believe that keeping our language is important. And unlike some countries, I have no problem adding slang to our dictionary. My complaint is that many businesses have to retrain young graduates from college because they can’t write a letter or do a verbal presentation without using acronym-speak. And that’s not a good reflection on our educational system or our country.

I no longer complain about IJ. As a psychotherapist, I naturally wanted to come up with a viable treatment to overcome my feelings of inferiority about not being well versed in today’s Internet vernacular. Now I don’t worry about what the acronym stands for…I just make up my own definition. It may not be correct, but it’s fun and makes for lol (lots of laughs).

TTFN
(Ta Ta For Now…or whatever you want it to mean)

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Banning Books

by on January 31, 2012 • One comment

Ray Bradbury wrote “Fahrenheit 451”, in 1953, about a future society in which reading was illegal and the fire department burned all the books. Ray Bradbury chose the title because paper burns at 451 degrees. Bradbury’s literary fellowship believed he was making a statement about burning books that suppress dissenting ideas. But according to the author himself, the novel is less about censorship and more of a statement on how television destroys interest in reading literature, which leads to knowledge becoming a composite of factoids. Talk about precognition.
Ironically, in the 1950’s, especially during the Senator McCarthy era, books were both being banned and burned in different cities around the United States. Books like “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”, “Catcher in the Rye”, “From Here to Eternity”, “The Grapes of Wrath”, “Lolita”, “The Lord of the Flies”, “Peyton Place” and yes, even “Fahrenheit 451”. These books were banned due to subversive content, obscenity, explicit sex or anything considered lewd and lascivious that might corrupt the morals of our society. God forbid if these works of Satan were to ever get into our educational system, it could traumatize our children for life.
That was only 50 years ago and today the books I just mentioned are considered classics, mandatory reading for some English classes.
You would think we would learn by now, that banning a product to protect society from itself doesn’t work. If it did, we would still have prohibition. Whether it’s alcohol, marijuana or books, it’s like the forbidden fruit, it becomes more desirable. But no…there are still books people want to ban, including some of those I’ve just mentioned.
I just read an article about Germany keeping a ban on the printing of Hitler’s autobiography and political manifesto, “Mein Kampf”. Apparently, the government of Bavaria, where Hitler resided at the time of his 1945 suicide in Berlin, holds the copyrights and guards against any German-language copies being printed. Apparently, Germany believes if they don’t acknowledge or sell Hitler’s book, then maybe they can erase that part of their history. I don’t think so. Although the book isn’t available in German or in Germany, anyone can purchase it on the Internet and elsewhere in the world…so why the ban? But, this week a civil court in Munich, again blocked a publisher’s plan to print excerpts of Hitler’s book. The peculiar facet of this is, German law only extends its copyrights 70 years after the author’s death. So in 2015, this whole debate will be a moot point.
I’ve read parts of “Mein Kampf”. I’ve only read parts because it reads like the narcissistic ravings of a sociopath, which in reality, it is. I understand the emotions around the book, it’s history and it’s author. I also understand the fear that it might incite or inspire today’s neo-Nazi groups and anti-Semitic groups. But, the reality is, it’s already in print. And, while you may think having it written in German and sold in Germany may make a difference with the same type of thug mentality Hitler appealed to, I can only pray that we’ve learned from our past. Banning it isn’t the answer.
But, if someone is tasteless enough to give you a copy of “Mein Kampf”…remember, all you have to do is set your oven to 451 Fahrenheit.

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Opinions

by on January 30, 2012 • 2 comments

Everyone has an opinion. But what exactly is an opinion? According to the Oxford Dictionary, an opinion is: a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. The underlying point is; they are not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. Opinions are points of view. And, if you’re like me, I get a little cranky when someone blatantly tells me my opinion is wrong.

Opinions are neither right nor wrong. And if you happen to disagree with someone’s viewpoint, it shouldn’t become a point of contention. But, somehow Americans have this notion that everyone has to agree or the world, as we know it, will come to an end. Why? To me, it’s no different than someone who enjoys spelunking. It’s not something I’m interested in but, if a person wants to burrow into caves and caverns like ferrets…more power to them. I know…you’re saying an opinion isn’t doing something you enjoy, like bungee jumping…it’s a belief.

Ok, so if an opinion is a belief, are we all supposed to believe the same? Does that mean; if I believe in Christianity and I have a friend that believes in Buddhism and another that believes in Judaism, then two of us have to change our spiritual beliefs? I don’t think so! Isn’t that what’s causing so much discord in the world already. So now, you’re saying an opinion isn’t necessarily a belief…it’s a viewpoint.

You’re right. It’s a person’s point of view on any subject. But, like with things people enjoy or their belief systems, we don’t have to agree. In fact, I appreciate having the opportunity to listen to someone else’s point of view. Differences of opinions are great avenues for debate, for consideration and for learning. Think of how much you could glean from someone different from you. You might actually find that you could change the way you think. It’s possible!

Mark Twain said, “In matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.” I love Mark Twain’s ability to state the obvious. The problem though, is today, our definition of adversaries is anyone different than us…different culturally, different ethnically, different socially and sadly, different politically. And we’ve become, literally, inflexible about learning about anyone different.

Somehow, in this new millennium, many Americans have this “you’re either with me or against me” attitude about anything with which they disagree. This attitude is destructive and will continue to take its toll on our nation if we don’t change. When individuals don’t have the ability to discuss differences peacefully or listen to different points of views without getting angry, outraged and indignant, there’s a problem. Tragically, the anger, stress and anxiety that I see from many of my clients is reflective of this inability to have opposing views without conflict.

It’s important to be able to voice an opinion. For Americans, it’s our constitutional right of free speech. So, when someone gives an opinion you’re opposed to…try being considerate and listen. Remember, it’s only a point of view, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge…and they also have the right of free speech.

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Brewer and Obama

by on January 26, 2012 • 4 comments

One of my favorite television shows was “Lie To Me”. The lead character, Dr. Cal Lightman, is based on the life and work of Paul Ekman, Ph.D. Dr. Ekman is the leading authority on the study of emotions and their relations to facial expression and body language. What does that mean? The simplest answer is, a person’s deception may be betrayed by his or her demeanor. Your facial expressions, hand and body movement show your true feelings. Dr. Ekman teaches you how to determine if someone is lying.

While Dr. Ekman may, or may not, be of interest to anyone else but me, I thought of him last night while watching the news regarding the meeting between Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona and President Obama. I was astounded that a Governor would break protocol and hand the President a letter inviting him to lunch and tour of the border. Governor Brewer, this isn’t high school where you give a note to a classmate. This was a Presidential visit to your state. And you, as a Governor, should know the procedures for setting up a meeting with the President of The United States. And I don’t think handing him a note in an envelope on the airport tarmac is the standard method.

Governor Brewer, who appears to be basking in the limelight of all this publicity, has been on every conceivable news station offering her view of their encounter. I watched and listened as Governor Brewer defended her stance, but mostly promote her book. One of the problems the Governor has doing an interview is, she tends not to remember what she said in the last one. In one news story she said President Obama was the first one to bring up her book. In another interview she said she asked the President if he’d read her book. But in all the interviews she sounds like she’s peddling her book and using his response as an endorsement. And, it’s working. Sales were up dramatically today. I personally, find it hard to fathom, with everything written about the President, both positive and negative, that the Governor’s book had the impact she presents. Maybe the Governor might consider the President’s actions might have been, in part, due to her inappropriate behavior as Head of This State. He wasn’t there to talk about immigration.

In several of the Governor’s interviews she mentioned her stand on immigration and talked about her agenda. The problem with agenda’s, from a psychological standpoint, is that the person with the agenda becomes myopic. They don’t see beyond their own point of view. Their brains are in a state of hyper-alertness and everything said or done becomes a point of contention and can be taken as an insult. In this brain state the person rarely hears or remembers what’s said and done. Sound familiar?

Governor Brewer says she doesn’t really remember what they were discussing when asked about the photograph showing her pointing her finger at the President. She justifies it by saying, she talks with her hands and wasn’t being hostile. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words and this one is priceless. According to Dr. Ekman, pointing a finger at a person is a confrontational action and is strongly associated with anger directed at that person. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

The fun thing about having read Dr. Ekman’s books and studied micro-expressions is, you learn to read people. And, I have to admit, after watching Governor Brewer last night, she may think she’s being truthful, but her demeanor betrays her. It’s almost as if she’s attempting to “Lie To Me”.

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